And so we begin again..

So, I spoke with Heidi, my adoption consultant. She agreed that I shouldn't write D off altogether, but I also need to go ahead and advertise again. So, I am starting to advertise in four new states starting this Sunday. That means 2-3 weeks more of being tied to the phone. Oh well- ending up with a baby will be well worth it. Ironically enough, I got two more calls the day I spoke to Heidi and today my lawyer called with someone else to send a book to. Heidi also advised me to send a snail mail note to D every week just to let her know that I am still here. So I will lay off the phone calls and if she wants to contact me she well. And so it goes...

nothing ever goes as planned

So, I still can't get in touch with D. I left a message on her cell phone last night and then called her house and left a message with her daughter. She wasn't home, so I will give her the benefit of the doubt, but still, her behavior over the last week has not indicated to me that she is in this 100%. I am trying so hard to be patient and understanding but it is very difficult. I just want to get this settled. Really, I need to know whether or not I need to advertise again which entails a huge time and money commitment. I'd rather not make that commitment if I didn't have to, but if D remains uncommunicative I guess I have to make assumptions based on her actions rather than her words.
YUCK!
Naomi

Better it happen now...

So, having still not heard from "D" I came home from dinner with a friend last night. My cell phone rang about 11:30 and I recognized the number as "D's" home number. I answered with a hearty hello only to be given back a gruff "who is this." I answered "Naomi" and was promptly disconnected. I called back her home number and got the answering machine. I told her we got disconnected and can she call me back on the toll free number which she of course did not do.

SO, I imagine she saw my cell number on her cell phone and for some reason did not know who it was so called it (incidently, my phone call to her was two days previously). I have to face the fact that she hung up when she found out it was me, did not answer the phone when I called back and then didn't call me back AGAIN. I truly was not going to call again until Sunday, but I knew she was home and I wanted to make sure that we did not in fact get disconnected.

I am still going to try her on Sunday, but I've pretty much resigned myself to having to advertise again.

No one ever said it would be easy.

Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Sigh... I have to keep reminding myself that nothing ever goes as planned. Or how I want it to be. When D and I last spoke, she agreed to call the lawyer on Monday or Tuesday and then we would speak. Well, I called Suzanne, my lawyer on Wednesday and D had not called her. So I called D and of course she didn't answer so I left a message. I am trying so hard not to panic and to accept that she has a life and even though this is the most important thing in my life right now and I want to get things moving, I am dependent on her and I can't control her. I need to have faith that things are going to happen the way they are meant to happen and not freak out.

Easier said than done!

my fingers are crossed

So this week has been a roller coaster ride. First of all, you have to have a tough hide to ride this adoption train. So, it has been necessary for me to be in the house for most of each day so that I can answer the phone. However, no one told me that most of the calls would be either curiousity seekers, people who want to adopt or just plain bogus. I managed to sent out only 3 profiles in two weeks:

1. to "T" in MD- very strange call - one example of many--she told me she was 18 and had an eight year old. Well, lets just say that her phone number was disconnected and I have been not been able to connect with her since.
2. to "K" in IL. Fed Ex has been trying to deliver the package for about 5 days, but apparently the address she gave me was a parking lot. The package is on its way back to me.
3. to "D" in Oregon- had a long conversation with her last week, sent book, called her on Friday- she said she would call me back in an hour- I didn't get in touch with her again until Monday- BUT this one really seems promising. Now I am just waiting for her to speak with my lawyer... so once again it is out of my hands.

Have, Faith-- that's all I can do.
Peace out all

on my way to adopting

wow! I have not written in a while. That might be because I have had so much to do. With my court approval coming in May, I hired an adoption consultant to help me place ads. We decided to wait til July to do so as I am a teacher and I would have time to answer the phone. So, I've been sort of sitting around for the phone to ring for the last week and a half- got lots of dead end phone calls and have managed to send out 3 profile books. I am cautiously optimistic about one in particular, a woman who is 4 months along in Oregon. We had a rather lengthy conversation the other night and I felt like we connected. I will talk to her again tonight to see what she thinks of my book.
Fingers crossed!